Tag Archives: family

Oh Supermoon!

We missed the moonrise this evening, but got to a beach at Jervis Bay in time to watch the Supermoon playing peek-a-boo with the clouds as the sun set.

It was pretty magical.


I only had my iPhone, but still managed to get a few decent shots to remind me of such a special occasion.

My girls loved it too, which made me extra happy: I have some pretty fond memories of sharing significant astronomical moments with my parents as a child. I remember counting down the seconds to 1:23:45 on 6/7/89 with my dad. And we were at the radio telescope in Parkes when Voyager 2 encountered Neptune later that year. We were among the first people in the world to see the signal kick back in once the probe had traveled behind the planet and out the other side.


I hope there’s a parallel universe where another Meg is a successful astrophysicist, because that’s definitely a path I was curious to tread.

As it is, I’m happy to keep dabbling and sharing a love of all things lofty with my little ladies. We really are made of star stuff, and I always feel at peace when I can look at the sky.

Feeling Better

The emotional roller coaster continues.

Not that it’s really a roller coaster: more like a carousel that’s on a slight tilt, where your horse not only bobs gently up and down but also traverses a larger undulating orbit of dips and peaks.

Turns out my last bout of the sads was due to me coming down with something. Nothing major, just a grumbly tummy and general achey weakness that left me with hot flushes if I tried to do anything too active.

I was actually kind of excited when it started showing up on Friday evening as it meant I could spend all Saturday in bed without feeling guilty or triggering my husband’s anxiety too much (I do love him to bits, but he takes on the stress of being the sole income-provider as a great burden and as such is a little bit rubbish at switching to parent-mode if there’s a lot on at work. Even he says I’m the linchpin of the family and they completely fall apart when I’m not around – which is incredibly sweet, but also incredibly aggravating! No pressure or anything…)

Anyway, I got to laze about in bed dozing all day Saturday without feeling too strong a compulsion to give up and go intervene when the kids got ratty and hubs started barking at them – because, well, I couldn’t. I tried a couple of times and ended up shaky and clammy and weak so they all just had to work it out themselves.

It was glorious.

I woke up on Sunday very much refreshed and although I was still a bit weak I felt like a million bucks.

But wait! On Sunday I got an added bonus when the kids asked if they could hang out with Nanna all day – and she said yes. 😍

And grumpy hubs went off and did the grocery shopping solo (and came back much refreshed himself), so I got the house to myself for a good hour or so.

Granted, I spent much of that time working on an assignment, but DAYUM! It was nice being alone in my own head for a while without talking or playing or screens blaring in the background.

So here’s to taking the time to relish unexpected breaks! Now to find a way to make them happen more frequently…

(Juuuust scraping it in under the wire for today’s Daily Prompt. And that’s 7 posts in 7 days. BOOYAH!)

Sisters

I am the youngest of three children. My brother is 5.5 years older than me; my sister 3 years older.

Growing up, my brother tolerated me as best he could. Occasionally he’d roughhouse or play things like board games or Star Wars Lego with me, but mostly he did his best to keep me away from him and his friends (which wasn’t always easy!).

But my sister? She was my hero. I have very few memories of playing with my parents, but my sister and I were inseparable. She taught me to read and to draw. We wrote stories together and did origami and music and dancing.

She was my BFF in a way nobody else was. Friends and I would always drift apart (I was kind of intense and weird in primary school and I think I burned friends out pretty fast), but my sister and I had to stick it out. We would fight (and how!) and sometimes stay mad for a while, but eventually we simply had to get over it and move on. There was no other choice.

I idolised her and wanted to do EVERYTHING she did. I followed her to piano lessons, and horse riding lessons (I was never even into them much, but she was obsessed and I wanted to do what she was doing), and ballet lessons. I listened to the same music and read the same books and loved the same shows.

Then one day she hit puberty.

Everything changed. She didn’t want me bothering her and her friends anymore. She spent a lot of time alone in her room. She yelled at me to stop copying her all the time.

I was gutted. I just didn’t understand what had changed and I got resentful and angry.

If it so happened that I liked something she also liked I would lose my shit if anyone suggested I was “just copying her.” I took every opportunity to be snarky and sullen and tried to get cousins to play with me and ignore her at family get-togethers.

Basically I was an enormous bitch – who only got bitchier once I hit puberty.

Eventually we both became adults. She moved to Perth with her partner and I stayed in Sydney. We never got back to being as close as we were as kids, but bridges were mended.

One New Year’s, many years later, we had a drunken deep-and-meaningful and I finally found out exactly what she was going through at the time.

Relentless, soul-destroying bullying.

Even now, the thought of how much I compounded her issues by being such a bitch at home makes my eyes burn with shame (she says she never felt victimised by me, but I know the thoughts I was having about her at the time. There is no comfort there).

She matured very young, at 11yo, and was the first girl in her year to wear a bra. She was also mildly overweight and a nerd. She developed disordered eating patterns that did nothing to help (turns out she has PCOS) and could not wait for me to join her at high school because then hopefully the girls who viciously abused her at the bus stop might finally leave her alone.

I genuinely had no idea how bad it was and still get angry at the level of secrecy and shame that surrounded her experiences.

Now I look at my two girls and cherish the love they share. Miss 4 completely adores her almost-8yo sister (her first word was her sister’s name ❤️) and the feeling so far is mutual – although my Miss 7 does need personal space more frequently than her sister would like.

I must confess, I struggle with that. I cannot bear to see my little one so devastated by “rejection” and my gut reaction is to try to force Miss 7 to keep playing.

Thankfully I manage to get over that. Most of the time.

For now, my older daughter (mostly) enjoys having a little shadow following her around and copying everything she does. There is nothing quite so satisfying as hearing them playing in another room, making each other laugh so hard their tummies hurt. It triggers so many wonderful memories and emotions that I can’t help but laugh along too.

I hope that connection lasts forever, but if it wavers, I hope I can help them understand each other and keep communication open.

As for me and my sister, we have one of those connections that we both know is rock solid even though we rarely talk. Whenever we’re together we click immediately and we both know we’re there for each other if ever the shit hits the fan. Even though we’re a whole continent apart.

You know what? I’m cool with people thinking I’m following in her footsteps now. There are far worse people in the world to be accused of copying. 

Inspired by the Daily Prompt

Sanctuary


We’ve been here two weeks now.

Well the girls and I have, anyway. Poor hubster has been mostly stuck in Sydney, tying up loose ends and getting rid of all the stuff we don’t want with us down the coast.

So far it has been as idyllic as I hoped it would be.


The girls are happier. I am bathed in a glorious sensation of space. My cat looks about 5 years younger and is clearly more happy and vital than he has been in a very long time.

So many new smells to sniff and spaces (generally full of cobwebs!) to explore and neighbourhood cats to chase off his lawn!

I am loving having my in-laws next door. Even if we don’t hang out, I know they’re right there, willing and able to share a cuppa or watch TV with the kids or help with a problem at a moment’s notice.


I’ve had a few pangs of missing Sydney – the cafes here are a bit shit and there’s no nightlife to speak of – but I’m still so glad we took this plunge.

Of course school starts up again tomorrow, and I have the daunting task of making new friends from scratch ahead of me (which is a lot like dating, only without the loud music and booze).

And then there’s all these bastards to deal with:

*resigned sigh*

More. Bloody. BOXES!!

I’m going to end up buried in these things one day. I just know it.

Anyway, lots of blogging fodder ahead – and hopefully a lot more headspace to do it more regularly again.

To finish on a high note: I completed the central panel of the filet lace table-topper I’ve been working on for 6 years now. Ta-da!


It’s so pretty!

Only seven rounds of border to go now. Easy peasy.

Clawing my way back

Since last we met

My friend went into the shelter system, got soundly berated by the Department of Housing for how she’s dealt (or rather not dealt) with things, confirmed that she’s black-listed on any and all tenancy databases, and consequently moved interstate to Melbourne to try her luck there. She moved out of our place just after my last post – and lasted about five days before having to come back, as the various agencies who run the shelter system in Sydney simply could not find them anywhere to sleep (they run on a day-by-day basis so it’s all subject to availability).

Having that short break really highlighted exactly how hard it all has been on my family. I ended up having to tell my friend that apart from everybody else, I personally had hit breaking point and really needed to remove myself from the situation for a while to avoid total burn-out. She 100% sympathised, and that was the clincher for her deciding to move: considering she had exhausted the few support systems she had here, she really didn’t have anything to lose by uprooting anymore!

They caught the overnight train a few days ago and so far things are definitely going better for them. They’ve been put up in a motel and are getting friendly and helpful support. I guess that’s what happens when the system isn’t completely overwhelmed by demand! I do love Sydney, but it is getting harder and harder to live well here if you have anything working against you.

We still have a mountain of their stuff here and are trying to consolidate everything to pack up and take to the storage unit. Once she’s established herself we’ll work out how to get it all down there. Leaving that one for future Meg to deal with though…

For now I’m consolidating my energy and refocusing on my own little corner of the world. We’ve smoothed things over with the landlord and will have a house inspection in 6 weeks (or earlier if we get the place in shape more quickly). I’m getting my potter on whenever I can and slowly creating oases of calm here and there, and finding my way back to routines that nourish and support our household again.

Most importantly, though, I will spend this weekend in self-reflection. I’ve learned a lot about myself through the trial by fire of the last two months. I need to unpack it all and properly reflect so I can move forward even stronger and happier than before.

Daily(ish) Gratitude 27/12/14

Today I am grateful for:

1. The afterglow of a fun, raucous, manic, glorious, bountiful, family-packed Christmas.

2. Fresh pecans.

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3. Dat sky:

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No, seriously:

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Dat sky!

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Added bonus

I just have to share the progress of a present I’m making on behalf of my best friend. I’m running late with it (natch) but I hope she loves it as much as I do! It will be a crocheted Nutella jar cushion. I’m pretty darn chuffed with it so far.

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How’s your festive season going?

Update

It’s been a crazy few days, trying to get things ready for Christmas before we headed out to my parents’ place in the country. And finishing up Kindy for the year (how did that even happen?!). And trying my hardest to crochet a custom order for a good friend to give as a present. All while my two year old decided to be a textbook two year old and be EXTREMELY clingy and cantankerous.

I didn’t get the crochet done in time (thankfully my friend doesn’t mind it being late) and packing wasn’t really stressful because I literally just threw things into the suitcases with no rhyme or reason. Pretty sure I’ve forgotten a bunch of stuff but I just don’t care (this could also be thanks to the meds I’m on these days…).

But we’re here now, with my sister and her daughter over from Perth. My oldest is currently in bed with her four-year-old cousin after spending the day playing like they hang out all the time. They came out together with my sister in my dad’s car while hubby drove all the luggage and presents out. I, meanwhile, caught the train with my youngest, my mum and my nana. So glad we did that! My daughter slept on my chest pretty much the whole way (3.5 hours) while the rest of us chatted and snacked and read things. Far less stressful than dealing with a toddler screeching to get out of her carseat for hours!!

Of course now it’s after midnight and my little one is still wide awake after that big nap late in the day, but there are so many new and exciting people around for her to play with tomorrow morning so I’m not too stressed out about it.

I love being out here. They’re in a little village in Central Western NSW and it’s so peaceful and sweet and there’s just so much S P A C E. Really helps my head breathe and relax. My parents have put us up in a serviced apartment-style hotel that’s quite lovely. I have a feeling I won’t want to go home again!!

I hope all your Christmas preparations are going well (if you celebrate it). I can’t WAIT!