Monthly Archives: July 2016

Life goes on?

I’ve lost too many friends already.

But this one? Literally unbearable


Notice the 7 News insignia in the corner? That’s because this death was newsworthy.

My heart can’t bear it. My beautiful old club-buddy, with whom I shared many a late-night trashy conversation during my formative years – and with whom I once, memorably, shared my body – was stabbed to death. In front of assorted friends.

And his girlfriend.

It’s just too much.

I hadn’t seen him for many years, but whenever I did randomly bump into him he was always – always – genuinely happy to see me. He was always so generous with his time, his shoulder, and his smile.

And now I’ll never randomly bump into him again.

He was only 35.

So. Much. Life was yet to be lived. And if anyone packed their life full of Life it was him.

I only have a couple of photos. In all honesty I hadn’t even thought of him for years. But since I found out about his murder 24 hours ago, he’s all I can think about.

I’m cursing myself for not curating my memories of him better. For not recognising their importance, and letting them fade.

And now I’ll never have a new memory of him again.

Thankfully, both of us being naturally gregarious and sociable, we have a large sample of mutual friends. I’ve been on Facebook for a fair chunk of time today. Reconnecting. Reminiscing. Consolidating half-recalled events and re-confirming his AWESOMENESS with countless others who have similar stories of his charisma and generosity.

It’s just so damn sad.

I know from experience that this immediacy of loss and bewilderment will abate, but for now I’m adrift in the rawness and shock of unrelenting grief. It’s too much to sit with. Too much to bear.

Hopefully this tribute will soothe the hurt at least a little. Not that any amount of writing could really do him justice.

Damn I’ll miss you, Guy. xx

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