Sunshine Reflections

  

It’s Sunday, and normally this would be my ritual “time out” at a local cafe, eating a salad and reading the Sunday mags. I haven’t felt the urge to do it for about a month now. Possibly because I’ve been actively socialising more lately.

That’s probably the biggest bonus that came from housing my friend and her 6yo for two months: I preferred to not be at home much, and needed to vent and lean on others more to stay sane, so I got out and about with my 2yo most mornings and improved my social skills quite dramatically.

I think that’s also why I dropped off the online radar so much too. I didn’t need social media as much because I was talking to people face to face. I’ve joined two knitting groups and have been hanging around at school drop off and parks and other kids’ activities more. It’s been pretty amazing really. 

Today has been a bit shitty so far though. My oldest has something going on in her head that’s making her hyper-sensitive and self-focussed. She’s so prickly when she’s like that! Just bosses and snaps and breaks down over tiny things but won’t actually let me help her work through it all. I just had to get out of the house because I couldn’t absorb any more of her emotional gunk without lashing out and making it all worse.

While walking around in the sunshine I came across this gorgeous paperbark tree. I’ve passed it many times before but it perfectly matched my head at the moment so I had to pause and soak it all in. A little tattered and ratty, with too many branches going off in different directions, but the potential for sturdiness and growth all the same.

So now to sit in the “wintry” sunshine (seriously, I’m wearing a light cardi and have bare ankles! This is midwinter now?!) and get all my rambly plans and thoughts and to-do’s onto paper and out of my head so I can roll up my sleeves and turn the day around for the family. Whether I like it or not, I’m the trunk of this tree. Gotta dig my roots in and brace myself better.

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