But of course

So we were late to school this morning, because of course we were.

I was List Woman all day yesterday. I pretty much left the girls to their own devices as much as they would let me (they needed convincing at times) and got through everything that needed doing for school – plus some more, as I was supposed to have some friends over this morning too. I lowered the hem of my daughter’s tunic and let out the waist on her shorts (we can’t afford to buy new uniforms for a couple of weeks so my slap-dash hand sewing would have to suffice for now). I got out her backpack and lunchboxes and drink bottle and checked they were clean and labeled. I cut up a bunch of veggie sticks and packed all the non-perishable stuff into their boxes. I even baked some muffins!

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I also cleaned the bathroom and tidied the kitchen bench – and got side-tracked sorting out the plastics cupboard and fixing our headband storage solution for a bit, because of course I did.

I made a list for the morning and got to bed at 2am, knowing that so long as I got five hours of sleep I’d manage well enough the next day.

And then I couldn’t sleep, because of course I couldn’t.

And I did that classic insomniac thing of stressing about not sleeping, thus making sleep absolutely impossible, because of course I did.

And then I slept through my alarms and woke up about 20min before we had to leave, because OF COURSE I did.

Poor Miss 6 was rudely awakened and carried out of bed by my husband (who had slept in too) while I woke up Miss 2 and got clothing sorted. It was cold and rainy so my daughter wanted to wear her long pants but I hadn’t let the hems down on them yet (because of course I hadn’t! It’s the middle of Summer ffs) so that triggered a meltdown which I didn’t have the time or energy to deal with gracefully. Much screaming and crying and hand-wringing ensued as the plan quickly morphed from me walking the girls up, to hubby driving her up and taking her to class himself, to hubby driving ALL of us up so I could jump out with Miss 6 at the gate without him having to find parking. We finally got her dressed, then she ate some cereal while I quickly packed the rest of her lunch (big hugs to past me for prepping so much last night!!) and did her hair before she quickly brushed her teeth and grabbed her bag while I threw my clothes on and got gumboots on the little one (extra big hugs to past me for dressing the little one in outdoor clothes for her to sleep in last night!!). We got in the car two minutes before the school bell was due to ring and ran in the gate at school just as all the kids were filing in to class.

I got her to her old classroom just as her Kindy teacher was about to lead them off to the hall where they would be redirected to their new classes. I said some quick hellos and lightheartedly laughed off running late on the first day (while trying not to cry) before heading back to the gate to wait for hubby to finish circling the block so he could pick me up again and take me and Miss 2 back home before he dashed off to work.

I then promptly collapsed in the rocking chair to zone out for a bit.

Thankfully, due to the rain, most of the ladies who were going to come over this morning cancelled, and I managed to convince the others to meet up with me at a cafe instead. So at least I didn’t have to run around picking up clutter and vaccuuming this morning too. A small victory today, but I’ll take it (plus I had some fabulous food and coffee at the cafe as an added bonus).

Seriously, guys: I. Am. So. Sick. Of. This. Shit.

I am 36 years old, not 16. How can I still suck so damn hard at time management? Why am I still sleeping through alarms and overcommitting to things and just plum not coping with basic life stuff?

I don’t want to play this game anymore.

I want a new head. One with a shiny, streamlined, zen brain, and emotions that make sense and are easy to deal with. Where can I get one of those?

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to wake up my 2yo and start the trek back up to school to pick my little First Grader up again. If I’m not careful I’ll be late for that too.

Because of course I will.

Update: I got to pick up a few minutes early! I’m more excited about this than I really should be!

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6 thoughts on “But of course

  1. Who would you rather be? Little Miss Perfect or Little Miss Happy?
    Your expectations are unrealistic! Be kind to yourself. So what if you see a cobweb, or a smear of a jam hand print on the wall. You’ll get around to it when you are ready. 🙂
    Enjoy your day.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s sweet of you to say but I’d just like to point out that I’m totally fine with cobwebs and handprints. When I say I cleaned the bathroom, I mean I wiped the sink down for the first time in a month or so and cleaned the toilet for the first time in about a fortnight. When I say I cleaned the kitchen bench, I mean I shook cockroaches out of the spice rack and the bottom of the toaster and cleared all the roach poo out of the corners and cracks *near my food prep area.*

      Seriously, I’m not polishing taps and folding underpants here. I hate houses that don’t look lived in! I’m only aiming for “not a filthy, festering health-hazard” here. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Your not superwoman, your doing the best you can, your kids are fine, thats what matters.

    I once read about a mum who made her kids sleep in their school clothes and eat breakfast in the car lol she felt this was the only way she could cope with the tyranny of the school run, and the perfect mothers who seemed able to do everything!!!!.

    Liked by 1 person

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