Sorry I’ve been neglecting you a bit. Everything’s kind of falling by the wayside right now. I feel like all the gains I’ve made since I started you have slipped away and I’m stuck back in the mire of chaos and laziness.
My depression ain’t so mild anymore – mostly thanks to you, tbh. You’re really helpful when my head is good, but just one more broken commitment to myself when my head is bad. I’ve actually sucked it up and started back on medication (Go Team Lexapro! Give it all you’ve got!) as my mood swings were getting way too extreme for my liking. I don’t really like being medicated but this isn’t about me.
I was really hoping you’d help me stop feeling like a broken record but here we are again after all. Back at the slump. Feeling like a bug pinned to a page, legs flailing for purchase but helpless to move, the ol’ black dog happily padding out a circle to make herself comfy in the pit of my chest.
So I’m throwing my hands up for now and waving the white flag. Back to coasting through life as best I can and just surrendering to the chaos and randomness. All goals are off – except one.
Three Things I’m Grateful For Today:
1. Sweet cuddles with my two year old.
2. A cool change after some stinking hot weather.
3. Casual conversations with local mums at school drop-off that help pull me out of my own head.
I’ll try to post three things each morning – but with no pressure. Hopefully things can build up momentum again soon.